What to Do When You Worry Too Much

Ms. Tareen has a new post up - do check it out: Who doesn't love a TED Talk?

"Dr. Huebner is a psychologist, mother and the author of the bestseller "What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety." In it, she emphasizes her belief in empowerment and provides practical advice for caregivers and children."

You can find the link to this TED talk via her post (link above).

Hakuna Matata

As part of her internship program, Ms. Sidra Tareen, our HGSE guidance intern, started a blog to house her learning as well as strategies and tips for managing worries. Please check it out and subscribe to it for updates.

Here is the link to: Hakuna Matata Blog

Sphere of Control

We have all heard it: There is an increase of anxiety in our children. I have certainly noticed this phenomenon over the last fifteen years of counseling in schools. Although there are many contributing factors to this shift, there are some basic strategies that can help us practice talking down "Peeves" as my young friends and I call that creature of worry in our minds and hearts.

One strategy is understanding our sphere of control. There are some things we can (and should) control, such as our habits of being polite. There are others things that we cannot (and should not try to) control, such as the weather, especially living in New England where all four seasons can pass through in twenty-four hours.

This concept is helpful in dealing with peer relationships. We cannot control what others think, say, or do. If behaviors "crosses the line", of course we have policies and protocols for addressing issues of bullying. However, we cannot control "typical" negative behaviors of other people. Sometimes, peers are going to be unkind, or gossip, or be moody. While our caring teachers attend to such social-emotional dynamics by helping our peers to gain insight into their behaviors and cultivating the desire to change, it is often resilient-building for us to understand what we can do to minimize the negative impact.

We can control whose opinions we listen to and value. In our discussions, the students and I often talk about if someone is not a reliable and good friend, why do we care so much about what they think of us. We can choose to listen to those who are kind to us all or most of the time. We can take an inventory of who our trusted friends are and invest our energies in those relationships.


This short piece on HuffPost by Renee Jain: Teach your Child this Crucial Life Lesson (Challenge #2: Sphere of Control) is a short and helpful read.

Learning in Discomfort

The other day, I was in a group conversation...and I got a little lost. It happens to the best of us, but we were talking about Social & Emotional Learning (SEL), supposedly where I live in my head, so it was a little embarrassing! That feeling would not subside until I took the time to look up the answer. Then it dawned on me that skilled teachers know how to create that zone of discomfort where a problem is floating around and demanded some attention. I am pretty sure I will not easily forget the answer to this particular question. When our school move onto our next core value of perseverance, this experience may help our students appreciate the value of being in this prime-to-learn zone.

Quoting Ms. Qualters: "got it wrong, got it wrong, got it better, got it better, got it right"

In case you were wondering, the frameworks for SEL are Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) and Strive Cradle to Career Network. When expanded to "non-academic competencies, 21st Century Competencies and Noncognitive Skills are also included. (Social & Emotional Learning Comparing Frameworks Elizabeth Hagen, M.A. November 2013)

Helping Kids and Teens Cope with Anxiety: A Workshop for Parents and Guardians

Link to EDCO Collaborative
November 5, 2014
7:00 PM – 9:00 PM
     Anxiety is the most common emotional problem in children and teens, and can sidetrack youngsters from learning, making friends and having fun. Does your child worry too much and/or seem intense and reactive? Does your child insist on doing things perfectly or get upset about making mistakes? Does your child get nervous around people or show reluctance to try new things? Or have meltdowns over little things?
     During this presentation, the presenter will discuss the differences between normal anxiety and problematic anxiety, red flags and warning signs, what you can do as a parent, and ready-to-use strategies to help your child. Other topics surrounding anxiety such as worry, shyness, separation anxiety, test anxiety, perfectionism, rituals and others will also be included.

Presenter:  Aureen Pinto Wagner Ph.D.is a sought-after international speaker who presents workshops for parents, school professionals and clinicians in the treatment of anxiety. She specializes in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), and has developed the child-friendly Worry Hill™ approach to making CBT accessible to youngsters. Dr. Wagner is an Adjunct Associate Professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill School of Medicine.
Audience:  Parents and Guardians of students of all ages
Fee:  No cost – participants may consider making a donation of $5 – $10 to help defray the workshop costs.
Location:  EDCO Collaborative, Bedford
Registration:  Please contact Dana at EDCO via email, dmullaley@edcollab.org, or by phone at 781-259-3445.