Most Effective Ways to Praise and Motivate Girls (and Boys too I Bet!)

From A Mighty Girl:

'Dweck, one of the world's leading researchers in the field of motivation, has found that there is a strong praise paradox for girls: "What we’ve shown is that when you praise someone, say, ‘You’re smart at this,’ the next time they struggle, they think they’re not. It’s really about praising the process they engage in, not how smart they are or how good they are at it, but taking on difficulty, trying many different strategies, sticking to it and achieving over time.”'

Additional Resources:
Giving Good Praise to Girls: What Messages Stick by By Katrina Schwartz, April 24th, 2013 on MindShift

How To Mother A Successful Daughter: A Practical Guide to Empowering Girls from Birth to Eighteen

Wrapped up in Science: Top 40 Science Toys for Mighty Girls

What Matters...

As we enter into the holiday season, well just about any season really, these are good reminders about being great to our precious ones, especially when our stress level runs high.

The Five Things Your Children will Remember about You

What Our Children Need

This is such a great article about what our children really need from us!  We want to grow children with imagination and creativity, who know how to build relationships, and who care for the environment.  Play is the work of children and too often we leave them alone with gadgets and electronics (and you know I love technology...but I love to play so much more!).  Please do take a moment, this article is worth a read~

4 Things Your Children Absolutely Do Not Need (and What to Give Them Instead)

The Sign of Great Parenting

As a young parent, I was consumed with what my children did.  Certainly some of the concern was centered around their health and safety, but much of it was centered on my need for their compliance.  A wise mentor, observing my parenting style, casually commented "You know, when they are little, we can make them do things because we are bigger and more powerful.  But as they get bigger and faster, we really can't make them do anything.  Some parents try to use baits and guilt, but in the end, we have to rely on our ability to influence them and not to control them.  That's why it's the relationship we build that truly matters."

Her wisdom deeply influenced my parenting philosophy.  Am I expressing care by my action?  "Oh, that sounds rough!  I am in the middle of cooking dinner but I can listen if you want to tell me more about it?  Am I expressing my confidence in them?  "Go ahead, climb!  I am right here!"  Am I expressing how much I value their independent thinking?  "Huh...I didn't see it that way, but explain that to me again..."

Let's not worry about what others think but wrap our hearts around the connection between us and our children.  No matter how old they are, they will always need to feel safe enough to dock back home.  No matter how successful they are, they may still need to rely on our influence.  "May" being the key word...so let's stay connected, just in case.

P.E.A.C.E.

"Little people with BIG feelings don't need a piece of your mind.  They need your peace of mind."

Teaching Tolerance and Respect for Diversity

How silence can breed prejudice: A child development professor explains how and why to talk to kids about race by Brigitte Vittrup

Talking to our children about topics such as race, disability, and other differences can be uncomfortable.  It is, however, extremely important if we want to build a positive community and gift them with positive life skills.  This article by Brigitte Vittrup shares a few good ideas including sample script for responding to different situations such as a child's observation regarding the patrons at a restaurant and meeting an inter-racial couple for the first time.

“Actually, this is a Thai restaurant, so maybe some of them are from Thailand. It’s a different country than China, and they even speak a different language.”

“When you love someone, it doesn’t matter what color they are” or “Friends come in all colors. As long as they’re nice, they can be your friend.”

20 Things I Have Learned Since My Son Was Diagnosed With Autism

"A diagnosis is just a label" so some people say, it provides helpful information they explain.  It may be so for some, but when a label is put on our children, it strikes a note, sometimes a chord deep in our beings.  The label can be something simple such as tall or shy, or something closer to home like energetic or strong-willed.  When the preschool lead teacher told me that my daughter was precocious, I went home and cried because I could not make sense of the word in relation to my precious child and I wondered if I was doing something terribly wrong.

We do that, mothers, blame ourselves for just about everything.  When it comes to something deeper like a learning profile or a medical condition, the impact runs so deep and it is easy to feel very alone.  While this piece by Shawna Wingert does not provide a comprehensive view of what it feels like to be parents of children diagnosed with Autism, it does provide a sense of camaraderie and a little much needed chuckle for some.  

My favorite lines:

• 13. Being a student of my child has helped me learn more than any book, therapist, or website. Differences in brain function can be really hard to understand for the neurotypical momma. The more I pay attention to how my son thinks and responds, the more I begin to understand.
• 14. Autism makes my life weird sometimes. For example, I found myself in an aquarium store every single day last week. Every single day, for at least an hour a visit. It feels like a bizarre way to spend our time, but this is us, living our life well.

20 Things I Have Learned Since My Son Was Diagnosed With Autism by Shawna Wingert

Here's to living our life well!