Healthy Technology Use Speaker Series - Notes from March 25th, 2015

Courtesy of a Lowell school parent:

March 25 Recap
The first event featured Laura Indigo who led us through mindfulness activities for adults and children and Jon Mattleman who framed the problem of the hidden and emotional consequences of the Internet and digital space. Mindfulness activities help us—whether we are 5 or 95—reconnect to our feelings, thoughts, and bodies. Even a few minutes of mindfulness can return a child or adult to a powerful feeling of wellbeing. Jon agreed that while technology is incredible, if we feel compelled to be connected24/7, we are losing out on personal human-to-human relationships, time for reflection, and calmness in our lives. Our goal is healthy connections online and offline too.

Some of Jon’s core messages:

• Digital platforms magnify the toughest part of adolescence. Too much exposure to the wrong messages can be humiliating and scary, negatively impact self-esteem, and induce anxiety, isolation and lead to self-harm.
• Many kids do not understand the permanence of what you put online. If you put a nasty statement or an indecent photo online, it never goes away.
• Due to the developing brain, kids are not great decision makers. Technology takes away the ability of kids to make bad decisions without the aftereffects haunting them.
• Technology and risky behaviors are intricately linked. Digital access increases the risk of drinking, drugging and sex. Kids communicate their worst emotions online, leaving their friends unsure how to respond and filled with anxiety.
• Cyberbullying is real and the majority of middle and high school students do not tell their parents about it.

What to do?

• Set limits. Reduce exposure. Whether your child is 1 or 15, make rules. If you pay for a phone, you can take it away.
• Even if you feel as though you have lost control, you can decide to get it back any day. Children are minors and require parental direction.
• Put a family contract in place regardless of your children’s ages. For example, technology can only be used in common areas of a home; school work first; no technology before school; no technology at the dinner table; phones are not allowed if you have sleep overs.
• Talk to kids about technology. Have you used this app? What do you like about your favorite app? Have you heard of problems? What would you do if…?
• Talk with your family about healthy technology use. What do you do that you enjoy and that is health promoting?
• Have tech-free times. Unplug. Try mindfulness activities.
• Model appropriate behavior.
• Stem the tide of over use by talking with your kids’ friends’ parents. Do not go it alone. Build safe communities with other parents, schools, teachers, coaches, extended family members, friends, and others. Share this recap with family and friends!

About the series
Special thanks to Watertown Community Foundation for making this series possible. The series is a collaborative effort between local parents, Watertown Public Schools, the Watertown Special Education Parent Advisory Committee (SEPAC), the Watertown Boys and Girls Club, Wayside Youth and Family Services, the Watertown Youth Coalition, Live Well Watertown, the Watertown Education Foundation and Families for Depression Awareness.

Go to https://www.facebook.com/ParentSpeakerSeries to find a library of resources and share your tips on reducing screen time and helping your children stay safe when they are online. "Like" our page to stay in touch.

The Healthy Technology Speaker Series Committee

Healthy Technology Use Speaker Series

How to Change the World in Less Than 1 Minute #RAKWeek2015

February is a time many of us pay special attention to our relationships as the piles of heart-shaped candies remind us of our need to be connected.  In a 2014 article, "Science Says Lasting Relationships Come Down to 2 Basic Traits", Emily Esfahani Smith at The Atlantic cited two important dynamics in successful relationships.  The first is the responsiveness partners show each other when one asks for the attention of another in conversation or in observation of something interesting.  Basically, this is the putting down of the iPad, looking up, and engaging in what is termed in the research "bid" for attention.  The second is choosing to be kind in the relationship, even during a conflict.  Julie Gottman, one of the researchers, speaks of kindness not only as an internal character trait, but also as a muscle which can be built.  The more we practice acts of kindness, the more acts of kindness will become a natural response.

Although the research cited are conducted between married couples, these ideas translate to parenting and friendships.  Many of us experience the universal phenomenon of a child asking for attention when we are in the middle of cooking dinner.  The times when I placate them with half acknowledgements tend to result in greater demands for my attention.  The times when I push aside the stress of dinner deadline, turn off the stove, get on her eye level and give her the five minutes she needs, often lead to a better evening.  Even now, as the teenager bid for my attention, if I close the laptop and turn around to give her my full attention, she leaves with a little bounce in her steps.  (Which incidentally is why this entry has taken three tries to complete!)

The topic of kindness, on the other hand, deserves it's own entry.  For now an inspiring quote:  "Wherever there is a human being there is an opportunity for a kindness" ~Seneca~

The Kindness Blog

Watertown SEPAC - January Offering

JANUARY 8, 2015

6:30 pm

Watertown Middle School Auditorium 

The Watertown SEPAC is proud to offer

The Five Horsemen of Anger Management

Presented by Dr. David Perna and Dr. Elizabeth Barcewitz

This presentation focuses on the challenges to an individual's thought process that lead to anger episodes and interventions that tend to remedy these major concerns: Cognitive rumination, Poor reality testing, Impulsive decision-making, Cognitive Rigidity, and Pseudo-Paranoia.

Dr. Perna is a licensed psychologist who has an expertise in the treatment of child/adolescent anger management and its relationship to learning challenges.  He is the owner of Copernican Clinical Services, a group practice with offices in Lexington and Newton, MA. He works with families, schools, and various professionals in addition to running specialized anger management groups. He maintains an academic appointment at Harvard Medical School and is a Clinical Associate at McLean Hospital, the medical school’s largest psychiatric teaching facility.  He is the former Director of the Child/Adolescent Anger Management Program at McLean Hospital.

Dr. Barcewicz is a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in working with children, adolescents, and families. She is currently at theBrookline Community Mental Health Center working with children with a wide range of presentations. Dr. Barcewicz co-leads the Adolescent Anger Management Groups with Dr. Perna

*Childcare and refreshments will be provided

Kindness Month

The Lowell School is working on growing in kindness this month.  November 13th was World Kindness Day but every day can be a Random Acts of Kindness day!  Check out the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation's #ShareAMonster project.  There is also a calendar of ideas for spreading kindness.  Consider becoming a RAKtivist like Bert from Pittsburg who shared "Kindness can be a smile, a kind word, or a helping hand. It is simply the act of caring for each other, without judgement."