TEDxToronto - Drew Dudley "Leading with Lollipops"

But Mom! I Had Such Great Memories from This Park!

After a delicious mother-daughter breakfast, we strolled through the Beaver Brook Park en route to our parked car.  A little boy was demonstrating his prowess jumping from boulder to boulder.  With every conquest, he turned and called to his parent, perhaps in search of praise or recognition.  After several failed attempts, he ran back to his grown up and attempted to explain the greatest of his feat.  We both paused to watch the boy gesture enthusiastically, whispering about how adorable he was.  Then it occurred to us that the grown up was not taking note of the child, but continued attending to the smart phone at hand.  My teenage daughter tugged at me and whispered "Mom, this is so sad!  I have such great memories from this park!  His [parent] is missing it ALL!"

Yes, I was a parent before the days of smart phones and cell phones (gasp!).  We played with the children at the park, in the house, in the car.  We pushed the swings from the back and sang about swinging to the moon.  We pushed the swings from the front and talked about bagels, puppies, and Dragon Tales.

As our children grow, we will not be able to control them.  We will want to be able to influence them.  That influence will only come if we know them and they feel known by us.  Let's put the cell phone on vibrate and put it in the back pocket.  Let's give them our full attention.  No text, no post, no email is quite as precious as those moments at the park.

Growing Future Generations

Last night, I had the privilege of participating in a forum for pre-teen and teen parents.  It was a wonderful group of thoughtful folks talking about how to raise decent human beings.  This is important work because, as I often joke about, these are the folks who will provide my geriatric care, run my town, and govern my country in the days to come.  Coincidentally, Parenting.com sent out this "quiz' yesterday.  Admittedly, some of it made me cringe and some made me chuckle.  It is worth a look and a little discussion.

Quiz: Make Sure You're Not Raising a Brat - Parenting.com

Kindness - Round 1

The other day, I heard a student telling another student to "go away" when she tried to join in on a conversation.  I was shocked!  I probably shouldn't be, because kids actually say things like that all the time.  Yet I hope I will always be shocked in reactions to actions such as these.

"Don't be nice, be kind!" - one of my favorite sayings.  

There is nothing wrong with being polite and "nice"; but being kind is from the heart, a place of empathy and goodness.  When we are older, I hope the men and women in charge of our lives, our towns, and our country are kind people.

Towards that goal, Ms. Steim, Mr. Connors, and I began our Guidance lessons with the 4th and 5th graders this past week.  We watched Shel Silverstein narrate The Giving Tree and responded to a few reflection questions via Google Form.  This is the resulting Woodle from the prompt:  "Please share three words that describe the tree in The Giving Tree."

Please join us on our quest of kindness~

Setting Up for Success

Opening school is an exciting endeavor; with it the hopes and dreams of a new year and an opportunity to improve upon the year prior. For our family, this is a year of big transitions: one off to college and one onto high school. Thus my heart was especially full on Thursday as I drew chalk lines on which our new Kindergartners would line up. Reflecting on the past 13 years of being a parent in a public school...

That "stated mandated Kindergarten Screening" - well, I missed it with my first born, even though I was already in training to become a school counselor. We were off in Acton at a children's museum. I still feel a little guilty about it, but she ended up with a wonderful teacher.

On the topic of teachers, I learned to never listen to others' opinions about teachers through the grapevine. Instead I was to trust that my children will learn to learn from all kinds of teachers. When they enter the world of work, they will need to work for all kinds of supervisors. Therefore, I was to help them figure out how to be successful with all types of matches.

Every time I got a call from the school, I was sure one of them was en route to children's hospital! None of those calls compared to the one I had to make because a girl was physically hurting one of my daughters - the kind of hurt that leaves a mark on her skin. I learned to never call angry, to never send an email angry, to never show up at school emotional. I have drafted plenty of emotional emails, but am always glad twenty-four hours later that I did not send them. I would have been embarrassed. Besides, it was important to remember that the someone on the receiving end of my emails and phone calls is also a person.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle,”
(Plato, or Philo of Alexandra, or the 1898 Christmas edition of The British Weekly"

Here's off to a year of kindness and growth to all~

Every Kid Needs a Champion - Rita Pierson

Perfect video to help teachers keep on keeping on during this homestretch!
Some of my favorite parts:

• 1:00 the value and importance of human connections
• 2:20 evoking Stephen Covey
• 2:55 on apologizing to kids and their response
• 3:30 we are chosen to be together for the year
• 3:38 "I was some body when I came, I will be a better somebody when I leave (this class)"
• 4:30 on grading: a +2 instead of a -18

and the rest - about the legacy of relationships . . . "we are born to make a difference."

Resources for Traumatic Events

In light of recent events in our city and our town, here are a couple of helpful resources:

• Helping Children Cope in Unsettling Times from NASP (National Association of School Psychologists)
• Tips for Talking with and Helping Children and Youth Cope after a Disaster or Traumatic Events from SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration)