The Happiness Advantage

It is empowering to know that we can take the right perspective so that we are positive in the present rather than waiting until we achieve a goal or "success" before we allow ourselves to be happy.  This is especially important if the happy hormone help light up our learning centers in the brain.  Perhaps if we teach our children this secret, they will become better learners too.

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"Spoiled Rotten"

Elizabeth Kolbert's article "Spoiled Rotten:  Why do kids rule the roost?" is a must read!  I was nodding all through the article, especially the part about how we seek our children's approval in our parenting.  It sounds so odd to say it out loud but it is so true for so many of us. 

When I went home from boarding school one year, my parents had tucked this poem into the corner of a photo frame.  While I read and admired the beauty of its words, I did not appreciate the wise message as much as I do today.  Perhaps it's because we have two teenagers in the house now and I am constantly reminded that every opportunity is a chance to support them in their learning how to think for themselves.

Our generation of parents err in both ways.  Some of us ask too much of our little children.  We cannot ask a four year old "what do you want for lunch?"  We have to create safety by offering choices that are realistic to help them be successfully and grow in their confidence. 

In the same way, we can no longer only demand blind obedience from our pre-teens and teens.  We have to dialog about the why and listen to their thinking and to their hearts.  They need us to believe in them and gently guide them.  They do not need us to control their circumstances by taking over and solving every problem for them; or worse still, trying to set every thing up perfectly so they do not experience discomfort.  By doing so, we are saying "we do not believe you are able to deal with this."

Let's be those stable bows for our children~

Sharing Our Lives

For someone who is relatively content going about my own business, I am, of late, often amazed at how I came to be a part of this cool little family. I know it is NOT all about me. Yet one has to acknowledge that these individuals have made me a better person. For that I am grateful. There is something to this act of moving oneself aside to make room for another. For someone else's preferences, someone else's way of doing things, someone else's things. Those deliberate acts of adjustment calibrates who we are.

Yes, we were definitely made to be part of a village.

 

Delighting in Small Things

Highlighters dry out rather quickly, so I try to cap mine in-between highlighting. Then I met my first clicking highlighter! (Angelic choir)

Thoughtful Gestures

With eighteen days left of school, many of us are tapping into our deepest reserve of perseverance, kindness, and patience. Many routines are altered to accommodate special activities. Teachers have a triple load of teaching, assessing and writing up reports. All of us have to complete our planning for next year and wrap up all the loose ends from this year before school closes. It is all wonderful and meaningful work, and I love every minute of it. However, there are moments when it feels a bit overwhelming.

Then on Friday afternoon, on my way back from drying up little tears, this was on my desk. The depth of encouragement I felt . . . that is, a lovely refill of courage in my heart came to be. I am reminded of the importance of putting good intent into actions, and am going to do a little something for someone every day for the next seventeen days of school.

Thank you for the inspiration~

The Power of Encouragement

When children are stuck, we don't have to engage in a power struggle with them. A little encouragement, a surprise but genuine response from us sometimes open up the little hearts and mind.